If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She told me I should be a condom model.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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