wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
