I think I just saw someone hide a body.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
