I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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