u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
whose ass print is on the piano?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize