I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
