Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
