You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm too high and old for this...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
