a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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