I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
