so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
