i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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