i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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