this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
well you can't waste a boner
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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