do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
