u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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