i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We are two peas in an std pod
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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