i would punch a child for taco bell
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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