I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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