EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
