Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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