Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
