I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
