You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
