Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
