So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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