How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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