You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
