when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
