So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
