I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
