You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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