I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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