My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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