I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
the day after is always just damage control
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
