Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize