I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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