1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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