She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
