Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
