Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
