I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
