Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
