im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
