oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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