People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
