hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Randomize
