come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
