i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
