Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
