You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
