Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
