If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize