i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
