my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
