I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
