Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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