Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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